Entry 167

Playing Assassin's Creed 2! <3 I think I like Altair more than Ezio so far. Still, I'm not too far into AC2 yet... Oh, and I missed about a weeks worth of posting. Oh well. You'll live.

Old Friends

Five years seems so long;

Rather, we were so young.

We haven't lived long yet,

So our understanding of time is off.

I remember our old days,

And it's not quite the same,

But I'm happy anyways.

The chance to be with my first best friend

Is a chance I'll always accept.

"Old Friends," (c) Rebecca Grapentine, December 30th, 2011

Entry 166

My absolute favorite way to kill people on Assassin's Creed: Hidden blade jump attack!

Seasons

While the air grows cold to the touch

And the clouds gather and spread their gray,

The season comes, the man-made holiday.

Time of more stress than fun,

I can't get any of my work done.

The season is too freezing;

I can't stand this chilly air.

Making me work is hardly fair.

I guess I'll sink away awhile

Before I start to become vile.

"Seasons," (c) Rebecca Grapentine, December 23rd, 2011

Entry 165

Yeah, I really love these games now.

Blend

If I were back then,

I'd hope not to be normal.

I'd scale the towers, too,

Like the others do.

I'd make my own Leaps of Faith

And take care of my own objectives.

If I were back then,

I'd want to be with the Brotherhood, too.

I'd hop from the rooftops,

Climb ladders, jump around and hang from walls.

I'd do it all, if only I could.

I'd fade into the crowds as easily as they do.

I'd be willing to take that training.

If only I were back then.

"Blend," (c) Rebecca Grapentine, December 22nd, 2011

Entry 164

Assassin's Creed is one hell of a game.

Family

The wild was cold.

Winter was beginning.

We found her and took her,

And now she's purring.

She's smart and sweet,

And is playful and cute.

She was sad to leave her mother,

But now we're her new family.

Whether it's for days or ever,

At least she'll know she now has shelter.

She's with us, and I love her.

It's very strange,

But family is never normal.

"Family," (c) Rebecca Grapentine, December 21st, 2011

Entry 163

Seeing as I'm now on the fourth book, I guess my picture will be its cover.

Answered Prayer

A long time ago, I can still remember

I asked and I asked,

And I thought no one cold hear me,

Thought that everyone ignored me.

I wished on every star,

As stupid as the wish might be.

Now my prayers have been answered,

And I have what I want.

It's just as good as I thought it would be,

And I'm happy; satisfied.

I have a new prayer for you:

Let it last.

"Answered Prayer," (c) Rebecca Grapentine, December 20th, 2011

Entry 162

Oh, Zak... you were probably my favorite character in the first book. Why, why did you have to die?

Soundscape

Close your eyes and listen

The sound of the world is echoing

It's trying to get through to us

But will anyone listen?

Close your eyes and sleep

Dream your web of lies

Continue your ignorant life

Why would it concern you?

Close your eyes and ears,

Don't leave it any way to get through

If you did, then what would it do?

No need to worry about that, too.

The sounds of the world

Of it's very soul

Are trying to connect with us

But no one will listen.

The world is dying

We're destroying our home

It tries to cry out to us

But no one will listen.

I can hear the soundscape of the world,

And I want to help

Alone I can do nothing

And no one will listen.

I want to stop the cries,

To help the poor thing,

I want to see what the world was like

Before we destroyed it.

But no one understands.

No one will listen.

No one can hear it.

Perhaps there is nothing to hear.

"Soundscape," (c) Rebecca Grapentine, December 19th, 2011

Entry 161

More Drizzt. I'll be finishing Sojourn tonight.

The Truth

I miss the innocence of childhood,

Before I realized people can't be trusted

Or they'll stab you in the back;

Before I learned the cruelties of human beings

And the harshness of the real world.

Right when I start to like who I am as a person,

Someone comes along and reminds me of all the faults I have.

Damn it all, damn the truth,

That this world's gone to shit

And there's nothing I can do about it.

I guess I'll just close my doors and sit

In wait until everything's over.

"The Truth," (c) Rebecca Grapentine, December 18th, 2011

Entry 160

Pretty Drizzt fanart. :3 I had such a hard time pronouncing his name at first, but eventually, I just got used to the "zzt" sound and now I can say his name.

Snap

Anything is possible with the right words

Make it or break it, they say

Sing to them with the voice of the birds

It's always possible to get your way

If the intentions are good or bad

It doesn't matter, as long as you know

The benefits play an important factor

Thus even if it was the latter

It would not matter

Raise your hand gracefully

And with the correct snap of the fingers

Let someone else take care of your problems,

Ease your burden

Sit back, snap, and relax.

"Snap," (c) Rebecca Grapentine, December 17th, 2011

Entry 159

I will now be using pictures of Drizzt Do'Urden, for two reasons. One, his book series is absolutely amazing. Secondly, I've already used all the actually good Lucien fanarts I can find.

A Friend

Once more, another day

There is no other way

We're friends, you and I

Until the day one of us dies

But you're going to leave

I find it hard to believe

How am I going to fare

When my heart wants to tear?

Everyone's going to leave

I don't know how to breathe

With them I'm a friend

But when they leave, it's the end

I'll just be all alone

Trap myself in my dome

Say goodbye to what I know

Because it's time for them to go

My tears will openly flow

And form a river I must row

I must escape reality, but no;

Life's against me,

I have to lie low.

"A Friend," (c) Rebecca Grapentine, December 16th, 2011

Entry 158

Best scene in Oblivion, ever.

Nostalgia

A written word,

Another read

Isn't this what you said?

Another's life,

Another's dream

Where things are never as they seem

I feel their force,

I feel their life

How do they cope with the strife?

I think I know,

I think I might,

But what I think's not always right

How is is possible

To feel like you've lived another's life

When they haven't lived;

Then how is it possible to feel the nostalgia of it all?

Anticipation creeps forth,

Suspicion consumes

Wandering through every room

It's looking for

It's weakling prey;

I'm still not like it to this day

That's where I draw

The finest line

I know these memories not to be mine

And for their lives

Each and every day

I can do nothing but pray.

"Nostalgia," (c) Rebecca Grapentine, December 15th, 2011

Entry 157

I'm still excited that Lucien Lachance is the Spectral Assassin in Skyrim...

Daine Eslair

Writing the story of another's life

It's my fault for all their strife

They can only feel it as much as me;

I can't write about what I can't see.

All that's bad in their lives is my fault,

Every life brought to a screeching halt

Was all brought upon by myself,

Oh, what I've done to this poor little elf!

To be tricked and tricked again

By someone who she thought was her friend--

A life like this is so unfitting,

I'm amazed at her lack of quitting.

How can she still be so strong

And face each day with pleasant song?

She ran away, but all in courage;

There were no smiling faces to encourage her.

Daine Eslair, you so brave,

Never again will you be someone's slave.

"Daine Eslair," (c) Rebecca Grapentine, December 14th, 2011

Entry 156

Lucien: You sleep rather soundly, for a murderer...

Gravity

Nothing feels soothing anymore,

No voice, no praise, no comforting hand

In seclusion, I sit thinking

Grasping the pages, feeling that invisible force,

That weight that presses down on me.

I grasp the pages tightly,

I hold on, but it's no escape.

It's a portal, an entry to another world

Where at least the gravity is lighter than this one's.

But no words soothe me, no actions;

This world is just as real as my own,

And no one understands.

The invisible wall forces me down

Until I can't even feel it anymore.

"Gravity," (c) Rebecca Grapentine, December 13th, 2011

Entry 155

You know, there's a lot more Lucien fanart on the internet than I first anticipated...

A Hope, A Dream

Once all the stress is over,

What do I do then?

All year I look forward to the end,

But when the end comes,

I shy away.

I need to look up to the future,

I need to prepare myself for its harsh, endless blows

Like everyone else already has,

But it's hard when I don't have what they do.

I don't have a hope, or a dream;

I don't have anything to grasp onto

I don't have a sliver of an idea,

No possibilities or wishes.

I just don't know, I've never known,

I fear I never will know

But I fear the unknown

So I need to find a hope

I need to find a dream

And all of this will crash down  upon me

And smother me until I can't breathe.

"A Hope, A Dream," (c) Rebecca Grapentine, December 12th, 2011

Entry 154

Okay, now back to pictures of Lucien. <3

Maybe

I can't help but wonder,

Should I have done things differently?

I can't help but wonder.

Maybe the answer will come,

Just maybe as I try to fall asleep

Maybe it will come.

I love where life has lead me,

That's what I say but I did it myself,

I got where I am by myself.

But was it the right choice?

Oh, maybe I should have run a different course

Maybe what I think was right is not.

I can't help but wonder,

Maybe what I think is great could have been better;

I can't help but wonder.

Maybe what my answer's

I think is right but that's only because

I don't know any better.

I think I know I'm happy,

But could I have been more

If only I had gone a different way?

Maybe if I'd chosen

Another path to go down

My life would be different for better or for worse.

I can't help but wonder,

Would all my friends still really be my friends

Had I done things differently?

I'm scared of the answer,

Maybe they would hate me if I had

So I should just be glad

That I turned out the way I am.

So there's no point in wondering,

I am where I am because of me,

You can't change the past.

Why would I want to anyways,

If I say that I'm happy then I am

And it's true I love my friends;

I can't help but wonder

Why would I want to wonder?

Everything is so because I said;

Let's everyone forget now

Then we can all be glad, now

And maybe then the wondering will stop.

"Maybe," (c) Rebecca Grapentine, December 11th, 2011

Entry 153

A little break from Lucien today for a funny little Oblivion comic... oh, so true!

Wake Up

Life is just a dream

Since I'm sure nothing's what it seems

I feel like I'm walking in the air

Heading toward nowhere

Something isn't right;

Nothing is real

In this dark place there's no light

And it's very hard to feel

Anything other then confusion

Everything is an illusion

Nothing can be trusted;

Is this a dream or reality?

I need to wake up

Whether it's from this dream or from this life.

"Wake Up," (c) Rebecca Grapentine, December 10th, 2011

Entry 152

Omg, it's Lucien Lachance... iPod version. <3

The Sinking

I was so happy.

I fought so hard, and overcame my fears.

I did what I had to do. I got it done.

I felt so happy...

I flaunted my pride,

Continued on, like I always do.

But, like always, I felt that sinking feeling.

Depression. This is another last.

I'll add this day to my list of "last" things.

The end is so near; this finality is so striking.

It crashed down so hard over me

And I'm not prepared for it.

I'll never have that class again.

I'll never see those people again.

I'll never perform on this stage again.

I'll never be in a family like this one again.

I'll grow apart from everyone again.

I'll be "just another person" again.

I'll be forgotten again.

I'll be lost again.

I'll be alone again.

Alone.

How can I be happy when I'm going to be alone?

Why can I not stop thinking of lasts?

I want to be happy.

I want to see this as a good thing;

Something that moves me on to the next step of my life.

But I can't.

I see it as very sad.

I like where I am; I don't want it to chance.

I don't want it to end.

I don't want this to be a last.

And so I sink,

Deeper and deeper.

I've been alone before.

I've been lost before.

I've been "just another person" before.

I've grown apart from everyone before.

I can do it again.

I can be alone again.

I can be lost again.

I can do it all again, if it's the only option.

I sink, but sinking is what I have to do.

Don't pity me for sinking.

I don't want pity.

I want to sink.

"The Sinking," (c) Rebecca Grapentine, December 9th, 2011

Entry 151

If you predicted another Lucien picture today, you win. Congratulations. 

An Unnatural Calm

Shouldn't I be worried

When the obstacle is here?

Shouldn't I be scared

Of the one thing, that more than death itself, is feared?

I feel normal, I've been forcing myself to feel normal

I've been staying calm;

Perhaps I will put myself in the mindset

That everything it okay, and it will be okay

I will trick myself, although I know it's a trick

But it will all somehow work out

And this unnatural calm feeling will soothe me;

I'll feel better when it's over

For tomorrow is the most important day.

"An Unnatural Calm," (c) Rebecca Grapentine, December 8th, 2011

Entry 150

If you don't know who this is by now, you make me sad.

An Accomplishment

Pride swells within my heart

As I inspect my new piece of art

It took my sweat, blood, and tears

It felt like it took years

But I've done it;

I've climbed out of my pit

And achieved a new accomplishment

I've finished this project

And I demand a new respect

From those around me who never had the need

To do such a thing that made me exceed.

"An Accomplishment," (c) Rebecca Grapentine, December 7th, 2011

Entry 149

I hope you're not getting tired of my picture of Lucien Lachance because, well... you'll just have to get over it.

Refreshed

Hard work has paid off

I'll take my well-deserved rest

My throne of pillows has never been more comfortable;

I didn't give up, although I wanted to stop

Now I'll flaunt my pride.

I feel refreshed, 

I have accomplished so much

And tonight I'll sleep peacefully.

I've stayed true to all my commitments,

I've trudged through this miserable day

And found light at the end of the tunnel.

Now I feel calm and serene;

I'll be happy and positive

For the time being,

And try to remain that way

As long as I can;

I like this feeling.

I'll take advantage of it.

"Refreshed," (c) Rebecca Grapentine, December 6th, 2011