Entry 142

Photoshop-edited cloud picture, it looks like... but still pretty.

The Misunderstood One

I tried to lay my case out on the table,

But they just did exactly what they were accusing me of.

They didn't listen to me. They interrupted me.

They did exactly what they were complaining about me doing.

They're just as bad as what they're lying to themselves that I am.

Why are they misunderstanding?

Why are they treating me like this?

They say they love me,

But then they scream at me to change.

Is love not accepting one as they are,

Including their flaws, and living with that?

And finding a way around it?

They don't understand me.

In fact, they hate me.

And I'll never forgive her.

"The Misunderstood One," (c) Rebecca Grapentine, July 26th, 2011

Entry 141

Mixing it up: corn and clouds.

Starting Fresh

I've been down this path many times before,

And each time I've failed.

For no apparent reason--

I just felt like starting over.

I wanted a fresh new start.

So that's what I'd get.

And, sadly, I'm down that road again.

But I've vowed: never again.

This is the last time.

This time, I'm going to win.

"Starting Fresh," (c) Rebecca Grapentine, July 25th, 2011

Entry 140

Once again, pretty clouds.

Waiting, Hopeful

I've actually tried to do something right,

To help people out,

To lift a burden.

But will it work out?

I'm waiting, and trying to be hopeful,

But I'm starting to doubt.

Maybe I'm not needed,

Even though I've finally stepped it up.

But, oh well,

At least I tried.

"Waiting, Hopeful," (c) Rebecca Grapentine, July 24th, 2011

Entry 138

I can't remember if I already used this picture... oh well, haha.

Patience

I feel so proud of myself,

And my family is proud of me as well.

I'm taking a step forward,

And be mature.

All I have to do is be patient,

And wait it out.

If anything happens at all,

That's great!

If not, at least I tried.

But I'll only know if I wait.

"Patience," (c) Rebecca Grapentine, July 23rd, 2011

Entry 137

Clouds on the beach, for variety.

The Best Place, Ever

When at first you don't succeed,

Try again--isn't that what they say?

That's exactly what we did,

And that's how we found the best place ever.

It's so nostalgic,

It's a walk in the past.

The stuff's so old,

And the place is so small,

And everything is just so wonderful

Despite it's age.

It's great to see that this history is being appreciated.

This really is the best place. Ever.

"The Best Place, Ever," (c) Rebecca Grapentine, July 22nd, 2011

Entry 136

Sunset-y clouds!

Excitement

I can't really wait

To explore my new home and live in it!

I have to wait until things are done,

Like water turned on and such,

But I wish I could move in right now!!

It's such a nice house,

And it's pretty, too,

And while it's a downsize from now,

It's much better than the others.

I'm so excited to move into that house

That I really don't want to wait at all!

"Excitement," (c) Rebecca Grapentine, July 21st, 2011

Entry 135

Clouds again!!

Adventure

From the beginning, we set out

On our long adventure.

We'll start from the beginning,

Make our way through.

We can see the difference throughout the journey

As we go.

But the real fun is just in being able

To go on this adventure

And to enjoy it.

And it's always great to know you're not alone.

"Adventure," (c) Rebecca Grapentine, July 20th, 2011

Entry 134

Pretty clouds...

My Work

A small idea, as it pops into my mind,

Makes its way to my attention.

When I have nothing to do,

Why spend my time doing nothing?

I can be doing something fun, yet busy.

Let's bring out the camera!

Find a song, and make a video!

I don't need to be on screen;

That's what my imagination is for.

And when it's all done,

You'll know it's my work,

Because of the quality it's got.

"My Work," (c) Rebecca Grapentine, July 19th, 2011

Entry 133

How many days in a row have I posted clouds pictures, again?

When I

Every page, covered with words.

My words.

The pages are slowly yellowing with age.

My age.

Within them, memories are recorded.

My memories.

And when I write in my journal,

I feel a sense of security.

My memories have been stored and locked away

So I'll be sure to never forget them,

Never in my life.

"When I," (c) Rebecca Grapentine, July 18th, 2011

Entry 132

From storm clouds, to clouds!

Often

Ever night, as I fall asleep,

My mind begins to wander.

Memories of the best week of my life

Creep into my dreams.

Flying across the ocean,

Seeing the other side of the world,

Remembering things both funny and sad...

And I often remember the people I met,

And the people I was with,

And I wonder where they are now.

Such sad, mellow, but peaceful thoughts

I think often as I fall asleep.

"Often," (c) Rebecca Grapentine, July 17th, 2011

Entry 131

Mountains and clouds.

A Spark of Hope

Maybe there is hope after all.

Maybe there is something out there,

Waiting for us.

Maybe there is someone in this world who cares.

Maybe there is someone who understands.

We have a spark of hope in our lives.

The hope is our lifeline,

The last thing we have to hold onto.

And this spark of hope

Is going to get us through this.

"A Spark of Hope," (c) Rebecca Grapentine, July 16th, 2011

Entry 130

More clouds, but with variety!

Remember

I don't remember much.

My memory is a fuzzy, unreliable thing

And can't contain much from the past.

But what I do remember--

While it may not always be the most significant,

It's a nice thing, to remember.

I remember reading these books as a kid,

And it makes me want to go back and read them again

Now that I'm older.

But if I do, will I be disappointed?

Would it be better to save those memories as they are

In their glorified state that I adore?

Would it be just as good if I relived them now?

Or would remembering just make my faith falter?

"Remember," (c) Rebecca Grapentine, July 15th, 2011

Entry 129

Clouds forever!

No Hope

Will it ever end?

Sometimes I doubt

That things will ever be the way they should.

Will we find a home?

Will it fit our needs?

What's going to happen to us?

Why does this have to happen?

Why...

Is there no hope for us?

"No Hope," (c) Rebecca Grapentine, July 14th, 2011

Entry 128

I googled "gray clouds" instead of "storm clouds" for once!

Difference

One, two,

There's me and you.

Three, four,

You just want more.

Five, six,

We just don't mix.

Seven, eight,

Your name is Kate.

Nine, ten,

Let'd not pretend.

Eleven,

Hurry up and go to heaven.

"Difference," (c) Rebecca Grapentine, July 13th, 2011

Entry 127

Once again, clouds.

Choked

Inside that home,

The smell of smoke surrounds me,

Choking me and stealing my breath.

Among the scratched floors and chipped walls,

I can't imagine a life.

Is that where I'm supposed to be?

Is that where my destiny is leading me?

"Choked," (c) Rebecca Grapentine, July 12th, 2011

Entry 126

More clouds off of Google. Yeah.

Spontaneous

Let's go, spur of the moment,

To a better place.

Together, we'll forget about our problems

And smother them with laughter.

We'll be up, day and night,

Watching, reading, talking and eating,

Just hanging around

In our spontaneous place.

"Spontaneous," (c) Rebecca Grapentine, July 11th, 2011

Entry 125

Even more clouds.

Mystery

Turn every little event into a full-blown adventure.

Find the lost,

Answer the unanswered,

Explore the unexplored,

Do what no one else can.

And then turn back and look at your progress,

And be proud of yourself.

Gain accomplishments.

Everything in the world

Sprouts from mysteries

Only we can solve.

"Mystery," (c) Rebecca Grapentine, July 10th, 2011

Entry 124

Why are clouds so pretty?

Skill

I've never had any talents,

But now I'm going to be taught a new skill.

Will I like it, will I hate it?

Will I be any good with it?

I have no idea...

I don't have many skills.

"Skill," (c) Rebecca Grapentine, July 9th, 2011

Entry 123

They look so pretty, don't they?

A Friend

I find it so comforting

To be in the presence of a friend.

They laugh with you,

They empathize for you,

And they understand you,

Or at least try their best to.

A life without my friends

Is hardly a life at all.

" A Friend," (c) Rebecca Grapentine, July 8th, 2011

Entry 122

I think every day should have a cloud picture.

The Search Goes On

It's time to stop crying.

It's time to get moving

And start searching for my future.

I don't know what it holds,

And I hate living life without a plan.

It's time to act.

It's time to search through every single last option

Until I find something I might like.

It's time to do the research,

Find the details.

The search goes on and on,

And it always will go on,

Until I get it over with and end it.

"The Search Goes On," (c) Rebecca Grapentine, July 7th, 2011

Entry 121

I'm on a cloud streak now.

Lazy Day

Work is over.

A day to take a break,

To think about what there is in life to appreciate.

A day to appreciate natures beauties like clouds.

A day to watch the clouds and ponder.

A day to ponder about my future.

A day to start making plans for that future.

Today is a very lazy day,

But a day full of thought nonetheless.

"Lazy Day," (c) Rebecca Grapentine, July 6th, 2011

Entry 120

I like pretty clouds.

It's Over

The long-awaited day is here.

I was scared, anxious,

Worried before;

I was tested, examined,

And I tried my best.

I gave it my all,

Everything I've got,

And now it's over,

And I've passed.

The accomplishment gives me a great feeling

Of fulfillment.

Maybe I am not such a failure after all.

If I can do this,

Maybe I can do anything.

If I try hard every time.

Maybe.

"It's Over," (c) Rebecca Grapentine, July 5th, 2011

Entry 119

Pretty lightning over the ocean...

Write, Rewrite

A blank page lays before me.

It has no meaning; it's worthless to the naked eye.

But with the right imagination,

The page is never empty.

From the moment the right person sees it

It is layered with words and words

Across every page.

It all starts with the first.

A creation of my own;

I can make life, and I can take it, too.

I can create my own worlds

With no boundaries.

My worlds, that have my own rules

And therefore make sense,

Even if they don't in my own.

I can write one thing

And rewrite it again until perfection.

I can do whatever I want,

Because these words are my own.

"Write, Rewrite," (c) Rebecca Grapentine, July 4th, 2011

Entry 118

What makes clouds so beautiful? And why can photos never do them justice?

Forever Searching

The clouds,

Heavy with unshed tears,

Float over the world, waiting for a reason to cry,

Or perhaps someone to cry for.

The leaves on the trees

Rustle in the wind,

Shaking, clinging to their branches,

Holding on for their lives.

The grass below them

Ripples with the breeze,

Each individual blade a free soul of its own.

Why can't society slow down

And take a look at the beauty of the world?

Why must people only think of their own lives

And their own problems

And of material things?

Isn't there anyone out there anymore

Who can appreciate the world's natural wonders?

Simple beauties, like the sky, the trees, the grass.

Many would just scoff at the idea of these things,

And they are the people who are damaged the worst

By today's society.

I am forever searching in this world

For the most serene, peaceful, beautiful place

And every day a new imagine of what it may be

Forms in my mind.

I will never find the right one,

Because there are so many options.

The real world is so beautiful; the natural world.

I wish I could go back and see what the world was like before we tore it down.

"Forever Searching," (c) Rebecca Grapentine, July 3rd, 2011

Entry 117

Man, do I wish the world always looked like this...

This World

I feel as if I am the only one in the world

Living my life without purpose,

Without a direction.

I know it isn't true, but that's what I feel.

I don't know what to do,

Or how to find it.

I would search for it

If only I knew how.

I feel as if I can't do it alone;

As if I need someone to start pushing me in the right direction.

But just what direction is that?

My life in this world

Is a waste of space

With no purpose.

The world and its inhabitants

Don't care what I do.

No help is there for me.

Only I can do something about this,

But what? How? And when?

I have no special talents,

No hobbies I'm any good with.

How am I supposed to make myself into something useful?

"This World," (c) Rebecca Grapentine, July 2nd, 2011

Entry 116

Another picture I took.

Solitude

Every day, alone,

I have time to think and then

I get very sad.

The reason it's so short is because it's a Haiku. In case anyone's wondering.

"Solitude," (c) Rebecca Grapentine, July 1st, 2011

Entry 115

I miss my puppy. She's at the other house.

Hollow

The hole cannot be filled.

I'm lost, and I don't know how to read a map

Even when it's given to me.

I can't comprehend words,

No matter how helpful,

Even though they're trying to help me find my way.

I just can't.

My heart is hollow,

And I don't know what's missing from it.

I spend my days

Doing nothing too memorable.

Days pass by too quickly.

And I'm scared.

Soon I'll have to face to real world

When I haven't the slightest clue

How to do anything on my own.

What's the worse fate?

To live your life with no purpose,

Or to live in fear of the future?

"Hollow," (c) Rebecca Grapentine, June 30th, 2011